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What do your car, your TV and your cell phone have in common?  What do we not get with the arrival of the patter of tiny feet?  Yes you guessed it an instruction manual.  Our babies are precious miracles that return our love and give us joy and hope for the future but we have to learn first hand on the job.

It is important to all new parents to learn the different stages of development of their babies.  Your baby has it's own individual personality, and therefore his development may not confirm to what is expected at each stage.  There are certain behaviours however that are fairly typical in all babies and children and there are some guidelines that we can use.

Predictable and reliable is what a baby in it's first year looks for to develop their sense of trust.  This is achieved by your child building a close attachment to their parents and carers.  A baby that shows common behaviour such as suckling, feeding, smiling and cooing is how he ensures survival through the natural art of bonding. This in turn produces responses of love from you their parents or carers by giving your baby the required and desired attention to them personally.  The consistent attention and interaction shared through this bond is the foundation for your little ones sense of trust.

Ensuring that your childs environment is comforting and loving during this period provides them with the feeling of security.  Showing your babythat your love is unconditional by giving them the attention and affection that they need is the most valuable thing you can do for them from birth.  Trust from your baby will be gained by the fact that when they cry you respond to them.  They will benefit from the feeling of contentment because you smile at them and hug and kiss them.

Your child will need this attachment to you for many years and although during the first year of their life they will learn to crawl and then to walk which will bring seperation, this in itself is another lesson to be learnt.  Another form of seperation is a psychological one, when your baby expresses it's wishes through body language.  An independent baby who can relate happily to others is one who is able to alternate the attachment and seperation phases - this is how many child development esperts view early childhood.

The terrible twos, this is a sophisticated way of your child carrying on the attachment and seperation cycle in their second year, for example, tantrums when you have to leave them with another person.  What we must remember is that anger may be used to demonstate anxiety about seperation.This is the stage when you begin to say "no" to your child, because you need to guide him whilst protecting him, at which your child may become frustrated.  This may be demonstrated with aggressive behaviour through such things as hitting, pushing, biting and throwing objects.

This type of behaviour can be quite daunting for parents as they begin to wonder if their child is developing in the 'normal' way.  As a parent or carer you should be aware that toddlers normally express themselves in this way as they wish to express their individuality and independence but are also anxious about being seperated from you.

A large amount of your time, and, your patience is going to be taken up with the handling of your childs tantrums, the settings of limits and boundaries, encouraging your childs language development and enabling them to express their feelings.  Be assured that your child will grow out of this as many of us have beofer and may we welcome you to the world of parenthood and wish you well on your journey of raising a healthy, happy and well adjusted infant.